I wish I was a real artist so I could live in LA

I love California as a concept, but

I don’t have a driver’s license

I want to meditate for six days

At a Catholic monastery in Big Sur

I want to hike the Coastal Trail North

From Mexico to Oregon, but

The rich and their beach houses

I’d have to trespass on public land

I want to be so entitled as San Diego

Sleeping on the sand

San Diego you’re nothing but a bum

San Diego you’re not fooling any one

I’d have to circumnavigate the Navy Base

Even just beginning I’d miss miles of the coast

So what’s the point?  Who owns anything

Now, nothing is stopping me

But the hills and those wire fences

Nobody owns the beach but the ocean

And the joke is she’s taking it back

Inches & miles, nothing

Is stopping her

When I’m a real artist I’ll move to LA

I’ll date someone funny like Brian Jordan Alvarez

I think I do love California, but

The income taxes are too high

I want to be famous and industrious

In a loft with sun, windows

I want to be glamorous and made of

Steel & glass, but

The unfortunate reality of flesh

I want to be as genuine as an iPhone

Screen bigger than my face

Brian, would you go on a date with me

If I was a condominium on the beach?

How about a glimmering aluminum

Can floating in with the tide?

Or just cast me in a video

As an overflowing garbage can

As long as you recycle!

I’m always looking to be reused

So slide into my DMs

Nothing’s stopping you

Nothing’s stopping you

If I was a real artist I’d live in LA

I’d flood rooms and smell like fish

What a concept, California, but

Soon your whole state will be underwater

Nothing belongs to anybody but the ocean

I’d say This is LA, bitch

I’m taking it back  I wish I was so entitled

As her It’s what I deserve for all

your shit  That’s why nothing

I want matters, I’m just trash

I have finally arrived

And what an honor

To drown